Staring into the Abyss

I did not get much sleep last night for a number of reasons … the biggest of which had to do with the nightmares I seemed to have all night. I just realized I had been sitting in my office staring at my asthma inhaler on my desk for the last 20 minutes. I do not think I moved or blinked … well I probably blinked but I don’t remember it.

A few things happen to me when I do not get a full night sleep. First, I get cranky. Second, I get funny only to myself. Third, I stare. Fourth, I babble, Fifth, I get a headache. This last step is pretty much all I can think of right now because I also am on some prednisone for my lungs and I get the most amazing headaches. Sister calls them my angry pills. Any fans of the Incredible Hulk here? Years ago after being on prednisone for a day or so my head hurt so bad I was walking down the hall with my hand over my eyes to block the light. My elbow hit the heater control that sits on the wall and that sucker went flying to the other end of the hall; I sat down at the top of the stairs and just started to cry. My sweet older brother Ev came and stood over me and said “I don’t know how to help you but if you tell me to do something I will do it for you.” Still makes me laugh, because is so him. So when I told Sister that the doctor had put me on prednisone this week her exact quote was, “Oh but the house is so pretty!” We have found that if I take the pills at night I can usually sleep through the worst part of the headache. Well last night this did not work. So now I sit at work and stare into the abyss fighting a lack of sleep and my angry pills.

You should probably know at this point it has taken me an hour to type this. Not much real work is going to be done today, it is just my hunch. (Those who know me well know I just started singing Havin’ a Hunch from Seussical there.) The one thing I have managed to do so far that is 100% right, is I have somehow found the perfect CD playlist so far for the day: Drive By “A Delicate Situation”; Fountains of Wayne “Traffic and Weather”; the “Garden State” soundtrack; Linda Eder “The Other Side of Me”. That should take me to the end of lunch.

I have been thinking a lot lately about slowing down and taking it easy … and today I think even without meaning to I have accomplished this mission!!