His Hand

Mom reminded me recently of a story I had not thought of in years. When I was 21 I wanted to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I put in all of the required papers, and received a call to serve in the Michigan Lansing Mission. I received my call in December 1996 and was supposed to report to the Missionary Training Center (MTC) in May 1997. I was just moving home from Chicago where I had been a nanny for 3 year; I went to see a doctor for one more check up and found out I needed to have some surgery before I could go on a mission. I had that surgery in February 1997 but it pushed back the time I could go on a mission. I did not enter the MTC in May.

In May 1997 my Uncle Lee was killed in a shooting on his way to work one morning. I did not realize it at the time, but it was the day I was scheduled originally to leave the MTC for Michigan. I found out later that the group I was scheduled to leave with was stuck in traffic on I-15 as a result of the death of my uncle.

I remember so vividly that morning. Sister and I were in the bedroom getting ready for the day. I was in the middle of putting on nylons to go to work when the phone rang. It was a little too early for the phone to be ringing for anything good; Mom picked up the phone, paused, and screamed. I will never forget that sound. Sister and I looked at each other in horror and, at the same time said, “Grandma” assuming something had happened to our aging grandmother. We ran to the hall to see Mom crying on the phone, finding out that Uncle Lee had been shot and killed.

I do not recall much of the rest of the day other than listening to the news hearing they finally caught the guy who did it, or even the subsequent week of his funeral. I do recall working at the Church Office Building and calling up to the Missionary Department in order to get a message to my Brother who was on a mission at the time in the Philippines and his wonderful Mission President letting him call home later in the week. It was not until much later that I realized that were it not for the events earlier in the year, I would not have been home when this happened. I would have been in a bus anxiously waiting for the traffic to clear so I could get on a plane to Michigan. My family would not have been home either; they would have been waiting at the airport for me; or they might have been home and would not have made it to the airport at all which might have made me worry. I would not have known what happened until much later. I do not know what would have happened to me once I got to Michigan and found out what was going on back home. I do know that I needed my family at that time, and I know they needed me.

I am struck with awe at the realization of the Lord’s hand my life at this time. While this was a horrific event in our lives, and more especially in the lives of my uncle’s family, I know that the Lord was watching out for me personally at this time. He made sure I was home when this happened and not somewhere else. He made sure I could be around to help Mom with what she needed. He helped the family fight through anger and find peace. I am amazed at seeing His hand in my life at this time. Other times I know He is there, but it is not as painfully obvious as it is in times of great trial such as this was.

When I did go on my mission three months later I met the woman I would have been travelling with on that day. She told me we were supposed to be MTC companions, and I originally was scheduled to be with her on that day. I told her that my uncle had died that day and she recalled what it was like to be on that bus waiting. We then put it together. It was she who pointed out to me that were it not for the Lord watching out for me, life would have been vastly different. It was hard for me to accept the Lord’s will in the death of Uncle Lee at the time of his death, I admit that. But now, when I can pause and look back at everything that happened, I know God was watching over our family. His hand really is in our lives. But He knew in December that I needed to be home in May and provided a way for that to happen. He knew what I needed and provided for me. He knows me personally, and knew what I was going to need specifically at this time in my life. He knows. He provided what I needed at this time. I am struck with awe of His overwhelming love for me.