The Irony ... a Confession

I have been thinking of doing a post about hateful language lately in light of the simpleminded comments of a pastor claiming that Mormon's are not Christian. Which, frankly burns my ... what did they call it the other day in the studio meeting ... sitter bones? I think it was sitter bones. For someone to make a blanket statement against my religion like that made me angry. (Dude, you do not know me. You do not know what or who I believe in.) For the record I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am LDS. I am a Mormon. I am a Christian. If I were doing one of the "I am Mormon" commercials my ending would say something like: I am an actor, director, producer. I am a friend. I am a daughter; a sister; an aunt. Don't tell my Dad but I am a Democrat. My name is Stephanie Johnson and I am a Christian; I am a Mormon. 


The ironic part, and reason for this post, is that last night I could not have used more hateful language toward people I have never met. My baby brother was laid off of his job yesterday. He worked for a company that used to employ 3 of my brothers, my sister, and my sister-in-law. In the last 2 years this company has laid off my SIL, and all three of my brothers (one brother they hired back, then laid off again for good measure.) The only person from my family who still works there, very part time, is Sister. (My spidey sense says she will not be working there long, but on her terms.) Well since they laid off my SIL, Brother was the only one working full time in their family. With him being laid off they have no steady income. I have never been so indignantly mad for someone else. Ever. If I could quote Ralphie "I have since heard of people under extreme duress speaking in strange tongues. I became conscious that a steady torrent of obscenities and swearing of all kinds was pouring out of me as I screamed." A slew of obscenities and name calling toward the owners of this company issued from my mouth. For about an hour. I actually owe their mothers an apology because they might be really nice women, but I might have inadvertently called them a name in talking about their sons. And I may have questioned the marital status of the mother when the son was birthed. Sufficient to say, it was not pretty. I was mad. Still am. But I digress. If any of the boss's mothers are reading this and can figure out that I am talking about your sons, I am sorry for the names I called you last night. If the bosses are reading this, well I should not have called you names, but I still am not fond of you, your business practices which have caused you to lose money, and I am not fond of you laying off my family and the other hundreds of employees you have had to lay off. 


So here is the real confession. When I get mad I swear, obviously. I use language unbecoming of a lady and a Mormon. Although I would fit in with longshoremen. No I did not drop the big one. But really I was no better in my rash, hurtful language than the pastor (really pastor, that is how you want to be remembered?) who called members of my religion un-Christian and a cult. So last night after I apologized to my Mom and Brother for using horrible language and being truly un-Christian, turned on Christmas music because it always makes me happy, and painted in my house until my body ached ... I realized that my language was no better than the hurtful language of others that directed their bile in my direction. Maybe even worse. I expected my mom to put a bar of soap in my mouth like Ralphie's Mom did. I want to make a blanket statement about society, but know it is not be fair to everyone. I do think that our society in general today has a problem with anger. I know I do, as was evidenced by last night's tirade. I think that the political assaults between politicians has really enraged society. I would love to see a political ad where one politician says "My opponent is a good person, would be/is a great leader, and is doing the best that he/she can do. I just think I would be a better leader because ..." My response yesterday should have been "Pat I am sorry that your bosses do not value all of the employees that they have laid off. You will find better employment, how can I help?" In fact he did find better employment yesterday. It was such a blessing. After I left to go work on my house, he walked to one of my neighbors who is a general contractor and asked if he needed help on his crew. In fact he did, and Pat just happens to be going to school for Construction Management. So he got a job in the field he wants to work in, he is getting paid more than he was at the other job, he did not really like the job he was laid off from, so overall it was a blessing. But I was rash and did not see the positive. I only saw that someone had hurt my family and I lashed out. I fell into the trap of the current society norm spouting ungraceful words at people I do not know, instead of acting like the good person my folks raised me to be and who I normally am. Not helpful. Not right. Not me. I shake my head at me! 


So there is your Thursday confession from me. I think I need to put the rubber band back on my wrist. I flick my wrist every time I swear. It helped me stop once before, because it really hurts!!! (Granted it did give me a cyst that needed to be removed surgically.) So now I need to live up to the titles I listed earlier. I am a friend. I am a daughter; a sister; an aunt. My name is Stephanie Johnson and I am a Christian; I am a Mormon. Now act like it.