I Hope You Go Soon

For those new to the blog, or as a reminder to some who may have forgotten, my mom has cancer. She was diagnosed 3 years ago, underwent a stem cell transplant, and was in remission for 2 years. It came back this summer, we knew it would. So now she does a milder treatment than a transplant, she takes an oral chemo which is designed to hold off the cancer for a while. She will have to do another transplant in the future when the oral chemo does not work any longer against the cancer.

She went to a bbq the other day and was talking with the wife of an old school chum. At the end of the conversation this lady leaned into my mom and said (in regard to her cancer) "I hope you go soon!"

I pause for effect ...

Really lady? Really? You hope my mom dies soon? Okay, how about we apply a filter to your brain - mouth connection? How about a more appropriate way to communicate what you meant to say as "I hope you do not have too much pain!" Or "I hope when the treatment options no longer work that your pain is manageable" Or how about "Good luck with your treatments, you are in my thoughts and prayers!" ?????? How about you think about what you say before you say it, and if you would not be offended by what you say then continue. If you would be offended by what you are about to say, if someone told you that they hoped you would die soon, then maybe do not say it.

Lady, you're an idiot! Have a fruit roll-up! (quote stolen from the live CD Stunt by Barenaked Ladies.) I do not always filter what I say, this blog is evidence of that, but there are some things that you just do not say to a woman in the early battle stages of cancer. "I hope you go soon" is one of those phrases. When she is bedridden and in pain all of the time, then you hope and pray she goes soon. But when the cancer fight is still raging and there is still a fight to be had, you do not tell someone that you hope they die soon. I ... you ... wow! Just wow!