Dear "the woman from the factory"
My favorite thing about today is that you have already called me twice to yell at me, sent me 3 snarky emails, hung up on our receptionist, and apparently left a nasty voice mail on my boss's line and it is not even 10:00 a.m. You are my favorite person of the day. I appreciate so much being yelled at because of a mistake that was made over a year ago that, by the way, WAS NOT MY MISTAKE!! Here is the deal: when a customer sends our company a check addressed to us and we cash it, there is nothing wrong with that. When part of that check should have gone to you and not to us, we are not negligent, the customer is. When you call and yell at me I do not pay you faster. When you demand payment by the end of the day, which is an impossibility since you are in Missouri, I do not jump at your command. I was not kidding when I said I cannot pay you until my boss tells me to. You yelling at me does not make me want to work harder to resolve this issue of yours, it make me actually work slower... mostly because I have to stop my work day and post a snarky blog about you.
You are what is wrong with business today. You. You alone. Please allow me give you some pointers:
1 - When you call a customer, do not yell.
2 - When your customer tells you they will look into the issue, it might take more then 10 minutes.
3 - When you call a customer, do not yell.
4 - When a customer tells you that they cut checks on Friday, they cut checks on Friday.
5 - When you call a customer, do not yell.
6 - When you talk to a person with as much respect as you feel you deserve, typically he or she will respond in kind with as much respect in return to you.
7 - When you call a customer, do not yell.
8 - If you call with an issue on Thursday you cannot expect money the following Monday.
9 - When you call a customer, do not yell.
10 - When you present a problem to a customer, you have to allow said customer time to investigate the problem from their side.
11 - When you call a customer, do not yell.
12 - When you call a customer, do not yell.
13 - When you call a customer, do not yell.
14 - When you call a customer, do not yell.
15 - Most importantly: When you call a customer, do not yell.
I hope you have a really pleasant day, I know I will since it started out so well. Thank you so much for your unwavering care and attention to my day and .. oh by the way ... stick it!
With as much respect as you deserve -
Your biggest fan!
3 comments:
Ack! I've had those types of calls and they totally suck. Hope the rest of your day was better, my friend, and that you can resolve the situation quickly to get her off your back!
I'm sorry your day didn't start out so well. Thanks for blogging about it to give us readers a laugh, though. I love the way you put things and deal with stupid people like that! You are hilarious!!
Andrew and I are both busting up laughing at this. Thanks! (Oh, and sorry about yelling lady.)
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