The Week ... The Friends ... The Moms

I have had 8 friends in my life that have at one time or another claimed the title of best friend. I remember S from when I was a lot younger. She introduced me to Barry Manilow and the song I Write the Songs (which ironically he did not write); I thought we would be best friends forever but she moved when I was in 1st grade and I have no clue where she is now.

Then we moved into the neighborhood I grew up in and I had 3 really great friends: JO, JE, & KH. These friends all lived around me, within walking distance, and we all were friends from 2nd grade on. I thought of each of them as a best friend. I know it is hard to have 3 bests, but there you have it. JO moved away; JE and I kind of drifted apart; KH and I have always been close though she now lives on the west coast.

7th grade meant a new school and new friends. I met JK & WW; they took over the title of best friends and remained through high school. Their parents became like second parents to me. I called them Mom and Dad (fill in last name.) I adored their families. They really treated me like I was one of them. All three of us played the same band instrument, though JK & WW were infinitely better than I was. They were either first or second chair in band. Both of them were, admittedly, smarter than me. They were both in honors classes all through school. But they never treated me like I was less intelligent. I was fine with it all, because I was and still am the funny one. (I am also humble ...)

In high school I met SC and immediately became enamored by her because she was different than any friend I had ever had. She was smart and could dance like an angel; she was my first real friend who was a performer like me. She has this infectious smile that I could not get enough of. I had other friends in a core group in high school too, but for me it was JK, WW & SC.

After high school I moved away. JK & WW went off to different schools. And sadly I lost contact with SC for a while. After I moved back home I met CB (or the adult version of CB, she actually is a friend of my sister who kind of bugged when we were younger!) JK & WW have been a constant in my life, SC and I luckily found each other again and have been great friends again for 15 years. CB has been like a sister to me for the past 10 years. Besides my own family these 4 women are the closest friends I have in my life (... although recently I add CM to the list!)

That is the background to bring us to present day ...

Last week was a best friend week for me, and not all in the good way. JK and I got to sit and chat for a long time last Saturday which was great. SC and I see each other often (like twice a week) and CB was gone on a family vacation and I missed her terribly because it was a hard week. You know those weeks when you just need it to be over and done with? Mine was like that by Tuesday. I just needed the week to be done.

I won't get into all of the details of the crappy week, but by Wednesday I actually said “If one more bad thing happens I will cry, right out loud!” Then WW called that night to tell me her Mom had passed away. She now has lost both of her parents. Mom W was an angel here on earth. I loved this woman as a second mom. I was devastated for WW. Luckily for me I was actually with SC when WW called to give me the news. SC is pretty amazing! I am lucky to have had her there because she let me cry and cry and cry ... and then I cried some more.

The next day my dear mother went to the oncologist for her quarterly check up expecting great news, instead finding out that her cancer has returned. Cancer just sucks. While they caught the cancer early this time, and she is not nearly as sick as she was last time she was diagnosed (3 years ago), it was a devastating blow. Within a 24 hour window I mourned the loss of Mom W and was hit with the mortality of my own mother's disease. We have to wait a week to know all of the details of her prognosis, but hopefully she will be on a pill chemo for a while and not have to have another transplant for a few years.

I admit to feeling despair. Yes I know Marilla Cuthbert, To despair is to turn your back on God (Anne of Green Gables) but I felt it. So I did the only rational thing I could think of Thursday: I had ice cream for lunch, cried again, and prayed. I am amazed with the peace and comfort that these three things combined can provide. I was able to gain some perspective, the sarcastic part of me says it was the ice cream, but I know it was the Lord who helped give me some clarity. Mom is not as sick as she was 3 years ago. Her cancer is not as progressed as it was 3 years ago. The transplant gave her 3 years of relatively good health. She may have many years until she needs another transplant. Cancer still sucks, but the Lord is in charge and knows what we need to make it through this trial.

I am blessed to have the amazing friends I have. These friends who bring so much to my life. I have an amazing family that I was born into, but I also have amazing families that I have adopted because of the friends who have come into my life.

I would, however, not object if I never have to have another week like last week again.