From Far Away

I am having lunch today with a dear friend I met in Chicago. She and her cute family have been living abroad for years and are being re-stationed in a few weeks to another post abroad. She is one of the cutest people I know and am so excited to be able to find a few hours for lunch today. One great thing about living in our day and age is that even when we live half way away around the world we can still communicate as if we were neighbors. It is, of course, not the same as being face to face... so I am off!

Relief

Relief comes in many different forms and what may seems horrible to some might seems like the needed light at the end of the painful tunnel to another. One thing that I find frustrating is when something is wrong in our bodies, and we know it is wrong, but all of the medical tests say everything is fine. I found relief when the doc finally agreed that something was wrong with me and she could hopefully fix me next week. My next question is: If we can live without our gall bladder and appendix, why do we have them? I would like to name my gall bladder before it leaves me next week. Suggestions?

Chunky: lumpy, chubby, bumpy

I was excited to win an Emmy tonight... or I guess what I should say is that I was happy to see someone win an Emmy after imitating, if you will, her character in Joseph for the last 2 months. I was wearing my lucky track pants for the occasion!! Congrats Jane on our, I mean your, Emmy!

The title of this blog is dedicated to my friends the Steadman's because The Pasthword Isth....

The Truth

A good friend of mine from Chicago posted this video on her blog and I steal the idea from her!

I see my brothers when I watch this video, even the one that is not a daddy. So here's to you Everett, Barry, Patrick and Brad!

Its the little things in life...

Squitch's daughter Goose for some reason does not like me so much. She is 2 and from day one has cried when I look at her. It would be funny if it were not so sad. Kids generally really like me, so I have been so baffled as to why. Squitch's son P really loves me, the contrast is striking. One day Squitch came over so Besty and I could help her pick an audition song. They walked in and she freaked. I mean freaked!! She would not even be in the same room as me. So I started to think that maybe there is something wrong with me, with my aura or something. This same night she played really well with my niece even going down with Mom and LoMo to have a bath. So she will go play necked with a stranger instead of being in the same room with me... sad.

Last night I went to Squitch's house for a bit and Goose at first was a little ... well like we are together: love hate! In fact at one point she fled from me so quickly she did not see the wall until she ran into it! Poor girl. So I decided a new tactic was in order. I asked her if she wanted to come up on the couch and read a book with me. Then I ignored her. Soon she went to get a book and handed it to me... though would not sit with me but listened while I read. Progress! When it was jammie time I asked her if I could help her get jammies on. She went to get her pretty silkies and brought them to me and by the time she was changed, I guess she had forgotten (at least for the night) that she does not like me. We sat and watched a bit of a movie and when it was over and time for bed, Goose gave me a hug and kiss. I almost cried I was so happy! Maybe, just maybe, she and I can be friends now. And it all started with a book!

Power

The power in our office went out yesterday. I went down about 9:30 and we were told it would not come back until 2:00. That is a long time to be without power at work, especially in this day and age when everything we do is on the computer! But something interesting happened without power. Things got very quiet. I mean after the initial angry sounds of disappointment because we could not complete our work... or play on the computers for some! Things were kind of mellow, and very quiet for about 90 minutes until the power came on.

I have been reading the book 'eat, pray, love' by Elizabeth Gilbert (you know before I see the movie.) I am currently reading the pray part of the book, she is talking about her time in India. I happened to have it with me so I pulled it out to read a bit until something happened and I could get more work done. It will not ruin the book to talk about this, she was visiting an Ashram in India and there was a Silence Retreat she was helping with. 100 people came to the Ashram for a silence week. They did not talk for 7 days, rather they contemplated their lives and meditated. But they lived in silence, they made the world around them quiet so they could look inside and listen.

One thing I noticed while the power was out and it was quiet was that only some of us in the office could stand the quiet. 6 (out of 8) salesmen left, 2 (out of 4) office staff pulled out their cell phones and started watching videos or playing games. The quiet seemed deafening to them.

When the power came on at around 11 (like I said, it was only out for about 90 minutes) I could not believe the audible hum that suddenly surrounded me. The lights, 2 printers, a computer monitor, and my computer all turned on with a hum that I am so used to, I did not even realize how loud it is! I found it suddenly distracting.

I cannot claim to have had some overwhelming introspective or spiritual experience because of 90 minutes of no power. But one thing I now do believe is true: Sometimes the physical power needs to go off so we can feel our own internal power or voice. Technology is great, but how reliant on it am I? About a week ago I unplugged my alarm clock in my bedroom. It is now darker in my room and frankly I am sleeping better. Too much modern technology and lighted gadgets, I think, can sometimes block our internal light and inner quiet. I need to listen more to me. It might be time to turn some things off so I can do just that.

It's Like Going Home

Do you have something that triggers a fond memory from your past? Like a smell or movie line or something...

I started to re-watch Grey's Anatomy recently. I started with Season One and will go through the seasons I have on DVD. For some unknown reason it is reminding me years ago when I had this core group of single lady (all the single ladies) friends (who now all are married, some with kids.) Now the odd thing is I never watched Grey's Anatomy with any of them. This group was made up of my sister Colleen and our friends Candice, Elisha, and Jill. Still friends with all of them, that is not where this is going, we have not broken up!! But in the last few years our lives have changed. Jill got married and moved out of state. Colleen and Candice got married the same summer they both have children now. Elisha was recently married as well (and actually I think she is the only other one in the group who ever watched Grey's.)

We all did theater together, we had a small singing group called multi-fish! productions where we sang with a few other ladies. The rest of this group competed in the Miss Midvale competition together (let's just say I did not because I was too old!) But I have to say my fondest memories of these wonderful friends was doing our Award Show Parties!! We did them all: Oscar, Tony, Emmy, SAG, People's Choice, Grammy, Miss America Pageant, Golden Globes, etc. We all brought a very yummy, sometimes unhealthy, dish to share and named it after the particular award show. For example I usually brought deviled eggs and they were always different: Oscar Deviled Eggs, Emmy Deviled Eggs, etc. Elisha always brought the best pasta salad, Colleen brought Reeeeseees Peeeiceees (that is just how they are pronounced!) Candice and Jill usually experimented with something tasty. And always always always Elisha did a victory lap if someone we all wanted to win did in fact claim the prize. Ah good times.

Do not get me wrong, those of us still in state try to get together for the 4 main award shows still and to have a party. Our numbers and the food might have changed, kids and husbands have to be taken into consideration, but it still feels like going home. I do not know if it is because the Emmy's are Sunday, but for some reason watching Grey's right now has made me remember those days so very fondly this week. I think it is sometimes hard when everyone seems to be at a different place in their lives with small families and I have not really changed all that much. Still single, no kids. Not complaining, it just is different. It is nice to have such fond memories; these ladies really meant so much in my life and I believe helped to make me the person I am today.

So Fish's, if you are reading this, I love you! I miss the memory of us, the us that used to be. But I love the us we are now and I would not change it for the world.

What's in a Name?

I have had many nicknames in my life... some were nice, some were not so nice. So when a friend of mine asked for a nickname, it was harder than I thought to come up with one! I came up with one I thought was funny, she thought was rude. I came up with one that was just stupid... it was stupid. Then we sat down to eat and it hit me!! She is now "Downtown!" She asked why... there is no reason why. I like the nicknames where there is no reason for the name. Squitch, there is no reason for her nickname. Sissy, no reason for hers either. And Downtown there is no reason for the name other than it made her laugh when I said it. So now Lindsay, I officially bequeath you: DOWNTOWN!

Names are important. I did not really know how much until recently mine was changed for me without my knowing. It is a small thing, but it made me really think about what is in a name. The name my parents gave me is mine, my very own, and one of the only true possessions I have in this life. I was born Stephanie Johnson. I was not given a middle name (if I could choose it would be Anne.) I have had this name now for 34-1/2 years, and it kind of has grown on me. I have had people call me Starbuck, Olga (don't ask!), Sister, and Steph to name a few. And I like these nicknames, I really do (mostly Steph.) But my given name was a gift my parents gave me. I was named after someone my mother loved in her youth. If ever I get married and my name changes it will be something my husband gives me as well but will be my choice to change. My name is part of who I am, and I am proud of it.

My Uncle Tim's real name was Ray Lewis Parker. He was a big kid and they called him Tiny Tim. The Tim part of that name finally stuck. My Grams went to parent teacher conference one year and said she was Ray Lewis' mom. The teacher told her she did not have a Ray Lewis Parker, but had a Tim Parker in her class. To this day we do not talk about Uncle Ray, we talk about Uncle Tim. I never met him, he was in a swimming accident and passed away before I was born. But his name lives on in a nephew and grandson (both named Tim, not Ray.)

Shakespeare said "What's in a name? That which we call a rose By by any other name would smell as sweet." Giving a nickname might not change the make-up of a person, or an object, but I do believe it is an awesome responsibility not to be taken lightly. And always, always should be done with the express permission of the person.