If You Can't Say Anything Nice ...

I was in a training last month where the trainer said something very interesting. I am paraphrasing, but she said that the average person needs to hear 5-7 positive things for every negative thing they hear. Some people will need to hear more like 10 positive things after they hear something negative about themselves, but there are some personalities that will need even more than that. Sometimes people will hear one thing and construe it as negative even if the comment is indifferent. For example, a couple might be going out to dinner and the husband might say "Is that what you are wearing?" What the wife might hear is "Seriously why would you wear that, you look fat." When the husband means "Are you ready to go?" Even if the husband then says things like "You look beautiful" or "You smell nice" or "I love you" she will focus on "Is that what you are wearing?"

I did not fully understand this concept until this weekend. It has been interesting to be in a show suddenly. I am pretty confident in my talents on stage. I have, however, had a hard time allowing myself to accept compliments on the show or my performance for some reason. It was not until I read something that someone posted in a negative light about the show that my hackles were raised and I was ready for a fight. You can say all you want about me, but once you go after my girls ... well move over Sarah Palin ... because this pit bull theater mom just went on high alert.

The funny thing is, that what was said was not really bad. It was not great, but it was not bad. Then I realized something that I am trying really hard to remember right now: Some people just need to focus on the negative and if I fall prey to that mindset then I am no better than they are. I do not need to let outside influences affect my experience. Here is what I know about this show experience:

I love the women I am working with
I laugh more than I should in the dressing room because they are funny funny
I have generous actors lifting me up every night
I have the chance to work with the most amazing pro-team
I have my dream role
I memorized an entire show in 6 days (no small task)
I finally get to be on stage with an actor/friend I have wanted to share the stage with for a long time
I have a ready made vehicle to cry nightly, what a great release
The actors on stage are so incredibly talented
I am working with some of the most generous and giving actors on stage
The director of this show is someone I trust with every aspect of my life
The assistant director of this show stepped up to the plate in ways I cannot even describe
Every night on stage I am reminded of why I love doing theater
I have the chance to create something from page to stage in a way no one else can
This show is GREAT
The actors are funny
The chemistry on stage with the actors is something I am pleased to have in reality with my friends
I have made new friends during this show, and rekindled old friendships
I love this show
I love this show
I love this show

I love this show
I love this show
I love this show

I love this show
I love this show
I love this show



I am really proud of the people I get to play with every night and those who have sacrificed so much to make this show a reality. Negative thoughts can be like poison to the soul. I kind of let it eat at me yesterday but now, right now, I am done with it. I am so proud of the actors, pro-team, and myself with this show. It is a great show, a funny show, an amazing experience. I am proud of my girls.