If You Can't Say Anything Nice ...

I was in a training last month where the trainer said something very interesting. I am paraphrasing, but she said that the average person needs to hear 5-7 positive things for every negative thing they hear. Some people will need to hear more like 10 positive things after they hear something negative about themselves, but there are some personalities that will need even more than that. Sometimes people will hear one thing and construe it as negative even if the comment is indifferent. For example, a couple might be going out to dinner and the husband might say "Is that what you are wearing?" What the wife might hear is "Seriously why would you wear that, you look fat." When the husband means "Are you ready to go?" Even if the husband then says things like "You look beautiful" or "You smell nice" or "I love you" she will focus on "Is that what you are wearing?"

I did not fully understand this concept until this weekend. It has been interesting to be in a show suddenly. I am pretty confident in my talents on stage. I have, however, had a hard time allowing myself to accept compliments on the show or my performance for some reason. It was not until I read something that someone posted in a negative light about the show that my hackles were raised and I was ready for a fight. You can say all you want about me, but once you go after my girls ... well move over Sarah Palin ... because this pit bull theater mom just went on high alert.

The funny thing is, that what was said was not really bad. It was not great, but it was not bad. Then I realized something that I am trying really hard to remember right now: Some people just need to focus on the negative and if I fall prey to that mindset then I am no better than they are. I do not need to let outside influences affect my experience. Here is what I know about this show experience:

I love the women I am working with
I laugh more than I should in the dressing room because they are funny funny
I have generous actors lifting me up every night
I have the chance to work with the most amazing pro-team
I have my dream role
I memorized an entire show in 6 days (no small task)
I finally get to be on stage with an actor/friend I have wanted to share the stage with for a long time
I have a ready made vehicle to cry nightly, what a great release
The actors on stage are so incredibly talented
I am working with some of the most generous and giving actors on stage
The director of this show is someone I trust with every aspect of my life
The assistant director of this show stepped up to the plate in ways I cannot even describe
Every night on stage I am reminded of why I love doing theater
I have the chance to create something from page to stage in a way no one else can
This show is GREAT
The actors are funny
The chemistry on stage with the actors is something I am pleased to have in reality with my friends
I have made new friends during this show, and rekindled old friendships
I love this show
I love this show
I love this show

I love this show
I love this show
I love this show

I love this show
I love this show
I love this show



I am really proud of the people I get to play with every night and those who have sacrificed so much to make this show a reality. Negative thoughts can be like poison to the soul. I kind of let it eat at me yesterday but now, right now, I am done with it. I am so proud of the actors, pro-team, and myself with this show. It is a great show, a funny show, an amazing experience. I am proud of my girls.

Steel Magnolias

This little gem opens tonight and runs for 6 show. Directed by the incomparable Casey Matern with the remarkable Melody Chapman, this show is the most touching play that I have ever had the pleasure to be a part of. It features 6 über talented actors who will worm their way into your hearts.

Kristen Fox as Shelby will make you fall in love with PINK even if you hate it as much as I do. She plays Shelby with a sweet innocence and calm demeanor; but still has a streak of mischief and lovability that melts even Ouiser's heart.

Stefanie Gallagher as M'Lynn ... what more can I say than BYOT (bring your own tissues!) She nails the overbearing and concerned mother of her daughter Shelby. She is calm and endearing throughout the whole show, so when she finally breaks under the ultimate pressure her raw emotion is felt in the entire theater.

Catherine Bohman could not be better cast as Truvy. She is eccentric, amusing, and is the consummate hair professional. There is a reason why all of the women in the neighborhood go there to get their hair did. She invites everyone into her salon, and when you are there you are family.

Kirsten Darrington as Annelle has the most drastic character development of the show as she starts out mousy, then a little jezabelle, then the ultimate born again Christian, and finally settling in as a "smart ass" who can take on Ouiser.

Marilyn Gallaway as Clairee is funny and the crazy glue that holds this group together. She is the first lady of the show. Her one-off lines are theater gold!!

Laren Bateman as Ouiser makes me want to take a whack at her again and again. Sadly, Laren is sick and will not be performing in this show. I will be doing everything in my power to fill her incredibly large shoes on stage. I just hope to make Laren and Casey proud of their hard work. Ouiser has been a dream role for ... well as long as I have known about Steel Magnolias. I have loved her for a lifetime, and have had 7 days to learn her lines.

Please come see Steel Magnolias. Visit Midvale Arts' website for more info and tickets. Tickets for this show are the same price, if not less, than a movie ticket and we will come out after and hug you. Name one movie actor you have ever had do that after the lights come on ... just one. I dare you!!

I am proud of this show. It makes me laugh every night. It makes me cry every night. I am not promising that you will love it, but I am promising you that the actors and proteam could not have worked any harder to ensure that you do love it.

l-r Kirsten Darrington, Stefanie Gallagher, Marilyn Gallaway, me, Kristen Fox, Catherine Bohman (c) photosbykate.com

What Time Is It? ...

Happy Valentimes ...

A Political ...

I honestly do not know if this is a joke, or if it is serious. But I have to say I laughed and laughed when I read it. Full disclaimer ... I am a Democrat. I am a fan of President Obama. I also think that there are bigger issues to focus on in our country right now than if/why/how could Beyoncé lip-sync the National Anthem. In the wise words of Caprice Crane (I follow her on the Twitter) "If you can tell me one valid reason why Beyoncé lip-syncing a song affects your life, I will buy you your very own unicorn." With that I present you the article I read this morning about ... well here it is

OBAMA URGED TO RESIGN OVER BEYONCE SCANDAL

Posted by Andy Borowitz

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – A rising chorus of congressional Republicans are calling on President Obama to acknowledge that the pop singer Beyoncé lip-synched during his inaugural festivities on Monday and resign from office, effective immediately.

“By lip-synching the national anthem, Beyoncé has cast a dark cloud over the President’s second term,” said Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky).  “The only way President Obama can remove that cloud is by resigning from office at once.”

While many in the media have blamed Beyoncé for the lip-synching controversy, Mr. Paul said, “We must remember that this happened on President Obama’s watch.”

Mr. Paul said that the White House’s refusal to comment on the Beyoncé crisis “only serves the argument that this President has something to hide.”

“If Beyoncé lip-synched the national anthem, how do we know President Obama didn't lip-sync his oath of office?” he said. “If that’s the case, he’s not legally President. But just to be on the safe side, he should resign anyway.”

Mr. Paul also blasted Secretary of State Hillary Clinton for her testimony on Benghazi before the Senate today: “Her tactic of answering each and every question we asked her didn't fool anyone.”

Found here

I laughed right out loud. Pardon me while I put on my sarcastic pants ... Alright, I get that not everyone in the world is a fan of President Obama. I get it, but this ... this is just the most fantastic thing I have read since the whole big issue about his birth certificate. Thank heavens Kelly Clarkson did not lip-sync too or they would be calling for Vice President Biden to step down as well.  And Secretary Clinton how dare you answer all of their questions at the Senate investigation. How dare you, ma'am! I am hoping that this is one of those "Not everything you read on the internet is true" moments. I am trying to decide if my favorite bit of this is the part about if President Obama lip-synced the Oath of Office or ragging on Secretary Clinton for answering all of the questions posed to her or this being called "the Beyoncé crisis." It makes me wonder if Senator Paul knows that President Obama was actually sworn into office the day before the Inauguration (Jan 20) as mandated by Amendment 20 of the Constitution so what we saw was pretty much just for show. Alright, I take off my sarcastic pants now.

With the nation's debt, unemployment numbers, low funding for educational programs, war, domestic violence, poverty, and energy issues (not to mention that there are other things that matter more to me like finding a cure for cancer or tackling the nation's health and obesity issues) are we really fussed if a singer lip-synced a song? I am not. I could care less if Beyoncé was in fact a robot or alien sent from another planet to perform at the Inauguration. Bravo for the White House's refusal to comment. I think it shows that it is a non-issue; not that it is a conspiracy cover up. For crying out loud. If our leaders and media spent this much attention on real issue maybe something would be accomplished in Washington this year besides partisan fighting and name calling. 

End rant. 

Mortification

The thing about the cyberweb is that things happen that are intentional and not intentional. I have a blog that is private to me where I post things that are not for the general population; it is a weight loss blog that I have started. I post very intimate and personal things there. I was writing a blog post for that blog and inadvertently posted it here. It had some things in it that I would never share with the general public. So I quickly deleted it. The thing is, that nothing that is published on the interwebs is ever really gone is it? So those of you who follow me on readers may be able to read a blog post that I had no intention of ever publishing to the world at large. I respectfully ask that if you do get access to that blog post on a reader that you respect how hard it was for me to blog about what I did, in regard to being fat and trying to lose weight, even though I thought it was a private blog post. I know that my friends, who are true friends, will keep what they read confidential. I also know that there are some people I do not know that follow my blog, for whatever reason, and have no clue who I am and how hard that was for me to write. I also know that many of you might think "Oh crap! I wish I could have read what she is talking about, what is she talking about?" Maybe one day I will be brave enough to share it with the world at large. Right now I am not that brave and ask for the respect of those who will read it to take it for what it was intended: A private blog post. I am literally sitting in my office crying because of how mortified I am it. So there you have it. That happened. I need to move on from it. And now I rely on the kindness of strangers ... and most importantly friends ... to accept it and me for what I am.

The end.

MMRF Week 1

It has been a week since I registered for the MMRF fundraising team to run in the Las Vegas marathon. I have found out the race is November 17, 2013. I will be running the half marathon since the finish time for the full is 4 hours 30 minutes. The half gives me 4 hours to finish. I am registered for the race, I have paid my money, there is no turning back now!

To get started training I have been doing a Couch to 5K program. I am running 3 times a week right now. It is slow, it is not for long periods of time, and it is awesome! I am running. I had a physical with my doctor yesterday to make sure that I am cleared to do this exercise, and I am feeling really good about it. I have also been tracking my food using My Fitness Pal.

Please notice the link on the right of the blog to donate to the MMRF fund for my run. My brother and sister are also running. We each need to raise $1,500 for the foundation, which will be at least $4,500 for research!

Thanks to everyone who has already encouraged me in this effort and/or donated. I am having a ball with it!

Taking Action

Followers to this blog know that Mom has cancer. They also should know by now that Cancer Sucks! My family decided to help raise funds for the Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation by joining the marathon team to run in the Vegas marathon on December 1, 2013. Each runner has a goal to reach of $1,500 by then. That is $125 a month that I need to raise.

In order to help with this they have set me up a fundraising website. I now, unashamedly, solicit help from my friends, family, and random blog stalkers to accomplish this goal. Little bits add up, big amounts are always welcome.

Mom getting her second stem cell transplant Jan 2012

Would you visit: My Donation Site and learn more about my efforts and, if able, make a donation to help me with my goal? I also appreciate any help you can by passing on this information to your contacts. The fact of the matter is that multiple myeloma has no cure. With some cancers, like skin or breast when caught early,  the cancer patient will have surgery, chemo, and/or radiation and can be cured. With multiple myeloma the patient can be treated but it is incurable. To me that is just unacceptable and devastating. This means that I will, more than likely, lose my mother to cancer. This cancer is in the blood, so it is throughout her body. Her bones are brittle and break easily. She is 5 inches shorter than she used to be. She walks hunched over. While the money we raise now probably will not save her life, I hope that it can save the lives of numerous people who are diagnosed with this cancer in the future. Please join me in raising this money.

In other news, I now have to get ready to run a half marathon in 12 months. Challenge accepted!

I Love Christmas

It would be impossible ... or rather improbable ... to grow up in the house I did and not love Christmas. Mom loves Christmas so much, it is her favorite holiday. December is her birthday too, so it was always a big deal around our house. Christmas music started playing in our house as early as my dad would let it. Meaning when he was not around we blasted it! Grams used to sing "Little Drummer Boy" to us year round when rocking us to sleep. She always had a holiday boutique where she would sell cards, wrapping, and crafts she made. Christmas was a big deal growing up. 

Now that we are grown it is no less special. My siblings are married with children; this year two of them are in Washington with their other family. That means we just get to celebrate Christmas longer. My sister is just as much to watch on Christmas morning as my nieces and nephews are. She is giddy when presents are around. She shakes them, trying to guess what she is getting for Christmas. It is just fun to watch her. 

We have traditions that started the first year the folks were married that we have carried on now for 41 years. (I saw we like I was there, I am not quite that old yet.) Every Christmas Eve we get together with as many of the family as are around and make waffles for dinner. We used to have a tradition where we would make donuts after decorating the tree. And for breakfast on Christmas Day we had little boxes of cereal. The one tradition I admit to not missing is on Christmas morning we used to have to wait to go upstairs to open presents until everyone was awake. (Ok I actually miss that bit because we used to all gather in the folks room as we woke up and lay on the floor or the bed until everyone was up.) What I do not miss is Dad walking up the stairs to turn on all of the Christmas lights. He then would line us up youngest to oldest at the bottom of the stairs. Only then would he say "Well, Santa did not come this year, might as well go back to bed." Got old, do not miss it. Sorry Dad. 

When we were younger, after we had our family Christmas, we would go to visit Grams and the Aunts. Most of the cousins would come  by throughout the day so we saw most of the family. I loved that and miss it every year. Grams passed almost 13 years ago and that tradition sadly died with her. I think it is so important to not only have, but uphold, family traditions. Sure Christmas is celebrated in Pagan ways with the tree and presents. But Christmas is a time for family. I feel a loss at Christmas when family is not around. This year, thanks to Skype, we were able to celebrate with family away from us. I still missed being together in person. 

Christmas is about family. It is about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. It is about good company, and good will. I love Christmas. I love it all. The music; the snow; the fire in the fireplace; the stocking stuffers; tracking Santa with NORAD; the food; the lights; the sounds; the smells. But mostly I love spending time with friends and family. A very Merry Christmas to all of you who I call friend or family or both. Thank you for making my life better by being in it.