Monday, March 4, 2013

Steel Mags Top 10


Top 10 memories of Steel Magnolias … fair warning, there are swears and one girly bit mentioned in this post! Plus it is long. You have been warned.

10 The script really was more of a guideline for me.
Being thrown into the show one week before we opened meant I really had 5 rehearsals to become memorized. I sure tried really hard to learn all of the lines as written, and to be honest I got most of them, but it was harder than anything I have had to do onstage yet. I got the part Friday the 15th and had to be onstage for dress rehearsal the 21st. And Sug, I did my best, but that show was not the same every night. Not even close!

9 Those who can’t act … review?
One of my favorite songs from the Broadway show Curtains is about critics. Some of the lines include: Critics! Who’d make a living out of killing other people’s dreams? What kind of man would take a job like that? What kind of slob would take a job like that? Who could be mean enough, base and obscene enough, to take a job like that? … Who could be jerk enough, hard up for work enough, to want a job like that?
We got a review, as I have posted earlier, that was not mean but it certainly was not flattering. It  was indifferent. She did not have anything really glowing to say about the show but she did not give specifics about what needed to be improved, really. It was just indifferent. It fueled my hate-fire! I think it made for a better performance on my part because I wanted to prove this lady wrong. However, my dear dear K said: “Those who can’t act, review.” She made me feel better about the review. She makes me feel better about many, many things!
And this song immediately ran through my head. … Who could be prick enough? Mentally sick enough. Who’d want to grow to be, everyone’s enemy. Critics are hated and so excoriated tell me what kind of man would want a job like that?

8 Whose job is whose?
When the show started I was the Executive Producer, P was the Producer, C was Director, M was Assistant Director, L was Ouiser, M was going to be backstage with J, and I was going to also run tech. By the end of the show we just kind of put all of the job responsibilities in a hat and drew them out at random. C was put on bed rest so M finished directing. L got sick and was told to stay in bed so I got to be Ouiser. Because I was Ouiser P took over as the main producer, and M, D, and C had to do tech. P took over back stage with J except for the one day P could not be there then K helped J backstage while the rest of us changed S for the next scene. Group effort much? Yes please! Confusing, but really good therapy on rolling with the punches.

7 Funny one liners that no one but us would find funny:
My words are LARGER
Spoken like a true ASS
I'm emotionally constipated
Well maybe you should take a stool softener
I'm gonna keep making dog noises
That's a good dog
I was # second! She was # the first
Write a book!!
Only one person in the whole world can have the best smelling feet ever
This wig looks Rastafarian
Say the word and I’ll get you a new one. WORD!
Is my grey even?
Hell, damn, God, Lord, and ass are technically all in the Bible … they are biblical swears.
That last ‘absolutely’ is going to  become ‘I would”
If Ouiser had hair, she’d be a collie
Empty is the hat that wears the crown
Was she doping?
Man that stage is high
I was in the shower and I just had to say “Well I haven’t seen that before”
Is he really even that good?
Happy smiley peanut butter hearts
Did I tell you I went to a gay club?
It feels like a bowling ball on the cervix

6 But Aunt Stephanie, you do not look like you. You look like that mean lady.
My nieces had not seen me on stage before. The last time I was on stage my oldest niece was 2. Now they are 5, 4, and 3. I was nervous for them to see it because I played a rather mean lady (at times) and the themes were not ones that they would really understand. When I came out after the show the girls were afraid to see what my face looked like (because of the stage makeup.) My niece L said “But Aunt Stephanie, you do not look like you. You look like that mean lady. This is not your nose, or your eyes, or your mouth.” I realize how confusing it must be for a little kid to see someone they know and trust look like someone else. But I loved that they got to see me on stage in my dream role even if they did not understand what was going on. 

5 Being on stage with some of my dearest friends.
Being such a small cast and crew gave us all a chance to get rather close. There were 2 actors I had never worked with before. K & M were all new to me, but I ended up loving working with both of them. I had directed C before in a show and I was pretty excited to work with her again. S and I grew up together and what a talent! I was sad that L did not get to be on stage, but what a blessing for me. I was finally able to be on stage with K; what a joy! K and I have been friends for a few years and the stars finally aligned to be onstage with this amazing talent. Oh boy did we get to play together up there! I was playing a woman who is a little meaner than I am in real life; but she had a soft spot for the character Shelby (at least in our version) and so every time I saw K I got to lighten up and smile. It was indeed the easiest bit of acting I have ever done because I love K with all my heart. So being Ouiser who loves Shelby was as natural as being Stephanie who loves Kristen!

4 Laughing, laughing, laughing, and job offers?
I love to laugh. I do. I love it. I laughed so hard doing this show. While getting ready in the dressing rooms M had us in stitches with her crazy stories. After the show one night I was asked if I would be interested in being hired to join a cast that does hypnotic comedy. I did not even know this kind of entertainment existed. It was an honor just to be asked. Every night I got to laugh and cry on stage. This show was so therapeutic especially since we were thrown some curve balls. (C wwynnihs) One lady told me after one show that she has no clue why I would ever waste my time directing or producing. I should always act. That was sweet of her to say and it sure boosted my ego.

3 Working with the best of the best of the best
Being on both sides of the table made for some really interesting nights. The director and assistant director are dear dear friends. Today I heard something that resonated: There are two kinds of friends 1) good and 2) best. The rest are just acquaintances.  I have said it before that I have some amazing best friends. During this show I got to work with some of my best friends, two of whom were on the proteam. Then I get thrown into the cast where another best friend lived. These women make me laugh in real life; add to it the joy of working on a show and I was in heaven.  

2 #wwynnihs
As mentioned before the director is one of my dearest best friends. C came into my life just a few short years ago when she auditioned for a show I was directing. Then she just wormed her way into my heart and now I cannot remember a time when we were not friends. Of course I cannot remember much from before my hysterectomy to be honest. What a talent C is. In theater we talk about triple threats (people who can sing, dance, and act.) C is more than a triple threat. She proved that she has an eye for directing and can bring depth out of her performers. This was the right show for her to helm, even if her baby decided to come out and play earlier than expected making her step aside from the show. It was an honor to watch her work, and I cannot wait to see what she does next in theater. Honor, respect, adoration, and love are not sufficient to describe what this brave woman was able to do with this show.

1 Dream Role
In my theater bio I list 3 dream roles, only 2 of which I really can ever play: Mde Thenardier in Les Mis, Ouiser in Steel Magnolias, and Edna in Hairspray (has to be played by a man per the contract.) I wanted so very much to audition for this show but knew it was unrealistic. The woman who was cast in the role was so brilliant in it and I was green with the jealousy! Then I was devastated for L because she got sick and needed to take care of herself rather than be on stage. The old adage “The show must go on” was never more true, however just because the show must go on does not mean that anyone should ever put themselves in danger. So born out of misery and less than ideal circumstance, I got my dream role. I loved having 2 weeks with Ouiser. I think it made the part still very fresh for me as opposed to me having 2 months with her and me risking being stagnant. I hope to one day meet her again. I would love to play her when I am older and look more the part; but I cherish every second I got to portray her in this production.

So would I change anything? Probably I would not encourage people being sick or being put on bedrest or having a baby 6 weeks early … but other than that there is nothing about this show I could imagine different. Dreams do come true.